Listen

I came across these insightful points about listening which are actually from my psychology lecture and thought I would share them with you :) 

12 blocks to listening

How often do you find yourself doing these concepts?

1. Comparing – Trying to assess who is smarter, more competent, luckier, has suffered more, etc. 

2. Mind reading – Distrusting what people are saying, feeling that you know better and can figure out what is really going on in the other person. Often involves making assumptions. 

3. Rehearsing – Using the time the other person is speaking to think about or rehearse what you want to say. Pretending to look interested at the same time. 

4. Filtering – Listening to some things and not others. Not hearing things you don’t want to hear. 

5. Judging – Writing the other person off. Hastily getting involved in your own knee jerk reaction. 

6. Dreaming – You are half listening until something the other person says triggers a chain of private associations. 

7. Identifying – Taking everything a person tells you and referring it to your own experience. Often requiring the conversation to revolve around you. 

8. Advising – Coming up with problem solving ideas before you have fully heard the other person’s story or pain. Coming up with suggestions so as not to have to be with the person’s pain. 

9. Sparring – Arguing and debating with what the other person says before fully listening. Quick to disagree before hearing the whole story. Often using the word “but”. 

10. Being right – You will go to any lengths to avoid being wrong. You have difficulty listening to criticism. 

11. Derailing – Changing the subject or joking away the situation. 

12. Placating – You want to be nice, pleasant. You often only half-listen.